Even the most so called spiritual people, the ones that think they are so enlightened and so spiritually 'tuned in' judge constantly.
Of course they don't see that as judging, they see them as speaking their truth.
Is it really speaking their truth? Or this new and very convenient term gives them the excuse to lash out at others?
I heard someone say once; "That speaker is not very spiritual because she smokes and dyes her hair." Excuse me? So effing what? "Dying one's hair is a sign of insecurity and vanity", this person said.
But so is boasting about one's presumed skills or whatever one thinks is so good at!!!
I heard this person criticize everything and everyone, including me, passing sneak, derogative remarks about the not so latest-fashion handbag, or my taste in music or definitely not the same taste in clothes.
Quite frankly I really like my style so I don't give a fig about what others say about what I wear or don't. I have always been one to stay a bit off the beaten track and sometimes I am ahead of the crowd, sometimes well behind it. But do I care? That's what makes me unique. I dye my hair too. I use natural color and I like it that way!
Some people change their names. That's not so clever because that's denying one's identity, as if to say that it is not good to be who you are. But so what? If that's what they want... ( I used to judge that once. But then I used to hate my name too!)
Some people let their hair go grey because they want to make a statement or want to grow older faster because they want something that is missing, 'the status of the older and wiser'. Why seek something when the time isn't there? And some people are older, wiser and choose to dye their hair, because that's what they want, and SO WHAT???
And, may I say, that some people are older and they don't get grey hair? Whist others get the greys in their twenties!Is it to do with age, or more like with constitution, stress, and nutritional deficiency as a result?
I have learned that wisdom does not come with age or grey hair, but it comes to those who allow themselves to grow at the pace that life expects you to grow.
There is a saying I am very fond of:
At twenty we think we know it all. At thirty we Know we know it all. At forty we know that we know f...k all!
It's only when we are humble and respectful and non judgmental of others that we start to learn and learning means to understand that we have no rights to judge anyone and that sometimes we have to have the humility to admit that it's all right not to know everything and that others might know more than we do.
We don't grow old for nothing! But this does not mean that older people have all the answers, it means that they have more awareness because they have had more time to watch and to observe. They might or might not have resolved all their issues, but if they have not, who are we the younger and 'I am so amazing and I know everything' generation know? Older people know more, that is indisputable. It is the way that they use their knowing that might be unethical and manipulative. Equally older people might not know about other things, the latest computers or electronic gadget! But you know what? That's not so stupid, because they instinctively know that so much technology around ain't good for you at all!
I have learnt that we need to respect people of all ages and of all intellectual abilities, but I have also learnt that it is better to stay away from the ego oriented ones of all ages that have one thing in common; FEAR.
It is fear that makes people arrogant. It is fear that makes people obsessed with status, money, achievement, success, religious convictions and always, always wanting to prevaricate everyone and be the center of attention. It is fear of not being good enough that we become manipulators of others by always putting them down and judging them as old and antiquated.
I raise my hand, I am guilty too and boy don't I regret all those times that I judged my mother or other older people. When she was not in her heart, (my mother) she was not a very pleasant person. But when she was respected and appreciated, the pearl of wisdom that would come out of her mouth were priceless.
I had a friend who was fifteen older than me, I adored her. She knew lots, but then she was also incredibly afraid and that fear was always coming out as arrogance. In the end I gave up on her. She knew a lot, but she also knew nothing in other subjects and was too arrogant to admit it.
I am the older one today, and I have to deal with the youngsters who think they are the dog's b......s, but as I am learning every day, I don't judge, I smile and I think 'oh dear, we all have to learn the hard way.'
And I simply steer away from the smart a...s and they become less and less part of my reality.
I am going to finish this post by saying that when we stop JUDGING OURSELVES that's when stopping judging others becomes much, much easier.
Have a good and non judgmental day (to yourself first)
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