White Chestnut

White Chestnut is very helpful in stubborn cases of 'the broken record syndrome'.

Something quite unpleasant happened a while ago. It was pretty traumatic at the time, (I will talk about this some other time), and I took plenty of Rescue Remedy. Then I looked for the reasons as to why what happened, happened that way, and I found plenty. 

But apparently that is not enough. Even if we find the reasons as to why people do what they do to us, we are left with that bitter taste of having been overtaken by a bully and were unable to put our point across. You know, when you have been accused of wrong doing, and you know that they are lying, and that their anger is nothing to do with what they are accusing you of. You just know. It is a knowing that I have learned to cultivate to perfection. 

At the time of the incident, I was so speechless that I could not utter a word. I was dealing with a bully in disguise. (I said I was not going to talk about it, but here I am exposing the story.)

What happens when the attack comes unexpectedly is that it makes a dent in your auric field and the attacker can overtake you. That's what happened to me. I was overtaken by the avalanche of accusations and when I tried to reason, the bully would not let go. She had the upper hand and was not going to let go. I felt totally paralyzed and unable to get my thoughts in order. All I knew was that she was lying; to me and to herself. She was accusing me of something, because she needed the excuse to lash out at me for something totally different. I knew this and could not say it. Had she been honest with the real reasons of her anger,  we would have had a breakthrough together. But that did not happen. Maybe that's not what she wanted but maybe neither did I!

In the weeks that followed, I managed to join all the dots and then I was fine but this nagging feeling that I had been overtaken by the bully wouldn't leave me and the thoughts kept on going around in my head like a broken record. 

So I decided to take some White Chestnut and not only I decided to finally put this on paper but also the obsessive need to put things straight has now gone. (It's the Virgo part of me that always wants to have everything in order.)

As we all co-create in an experience, I now know why I created my side of the story. This is what taking responsibility means. 

What other people do to us, is for them to sort out. Anger lashed out at others is always hiding deep and often unconscious fears. But that is not for us to sort out or point out. The only responsibility we have in any situation is to ourselves. They have to to do the work to find out why, what and how. If we told them what we see, it would deprive them of the experience of figuring things out for themselves. It would also be extremely unethical to start poking around in someone's psyche, unless, like in a healing session, we have permission to do so. 

(The lady was trying very hard to poke at mine, but I would not let her and what she was left with was the mirroring of her own stuff.)

But anyway, now that I have taken White Chestnut I feel that I can finally put this to rest and get on with using my energy fully for much more important tasks. 

Ps. 

will probably need to take W Chestnut and RR (Rescue Remedy) for a while for things to settle totally.