Dates With The Past

Ever had a bad experience that left a bitter taste in your mouth?

For some people that is not a problem; they are the lucky ones, they acknowledge the bad experience, shrug their shoulders and move on. Not many, I must say.
For the vast majority of us, the experience is eventually forgotten but never integrated. As usual it is the feelings that we had at the time that linger on and that with the knowledge we have today can be released so that the experience when remembered becomes totally neutral.

How do you know when you have a date with the past? When for no reasons at all you start feeling very edgy and things start to go wrong.

I was perfectly fine yesterday and then in the afternoon I start to experience feelings of hopelessness and despair which came out of nowhere. Then this morning, upon awakening, I remembered that this month I have a very important date with the past. In November of quite a few years ago I got married!

For some people getting married is a wonderful experience, but it was not for me.
We went our separate ways some six years later. Those years, however were certainly not happy. I spent most of that time feeling terrible for having done something that I really did not want to do. My emotions were ranging mostly from depression, despair, hopelessness and helplessness. Not a very nice place to be in.

And this year I have finally realised that every year, when this time of the year approaches, I start to feel pretty edgy and unhappy for no reasons.  I woke up feeling awful and remembered that a long time ago, I was feeling just the same. So I took some time out and went into my emotions. They were not pleasant at all.

I was in my twenties, confused and lost, every choice I made seemed to be always the wrong one. Karmically I believe that there are not mistakes, but only choices dictated by the soul that has agreed to pay back its due. I did not think this at the time though. At the time it was either choosing between two evils, and I chose one.

Although many years have gone by, the emotions never got resolved. Unresolved emotions have a charge that get triggered on cue, just like these ones got triggered as the date approached.

When emotions are not resolved they are stored away in the subconscious, and only when we finally take the time to address them and release them, they will not bother us any more.

I did the usual. I sat down, I connected with the pain in the present, which is not pleasant at all, and the body took me straight back to that time, when I was feeling the same emotions. I felt very hard done by then, felt trapped and without choices; I was feeling like the victim that I was then.

Without going into too many details, a healing is always very powerful when there is willingness to let go of blame and anger towards others. Yes, I did feel helpless and hopeless but only because at the time I was always unable to say no, for fear of upsetting other people's feelings.

Today I understand that it is our duty to set boundaries and to say no when we mean no. If the other person becomes upset, but we have acted out of integrity, then we have nothing to feel bad about.

It became clear during the healing that I was really angry with myself for precisely those reasons, my inability to say what I really meant. By not being able to be my highest truth I created a really terrible life for myself.

So I cleared the emotional residues and replaced with new programs of self respect and self support.

I felt a world better after I finished; light hearted and free.

The past can hold a person a prisoner, but what the prison really is about is the emotions that were created then, that still resonate in the emotional field of the person.

Once those are clear, you can look forward to your life as the year goes by and those dates reappear you will find with delight that they have no charge any more and you ca finally go about your business of being happy and fulfilled unhampered and free.

www.lucianellahealing.com

Low Self-Esteem? Take Larch

Larch is the remedy for those people who feel insecure, inferior and do not trust their talents.

I have not used it for a while, not with myself not with others. Of late however, this remedy jumped out at me with a client who has a physical issue that does not budge.

I don’t know why, but suddenly I thought of Larch. I have worked with this client and his problem for a while, I have looked at anger, resentment, guilt and other emotional states, but for some reasons thinking it related to self-confidence never crossed my mind.

But this is how it is with the Bach Flowers, you clear all the layers, (and that might take a while) and then another emotional state comes up that might be just as relevant.

‘What if,’ I said to myself, ‘despite the fact that this person seems to be self-assured and confident, he actually feels quite insecure and vulnerable?’ After all we all feel that way at one time or another.

When this problem appeared, this client was in a pickle with his life. I asked him what was going on.  

He was working in a company doing a job he loathed. One day he had a fight with someone who was questioning his skills in the workplace. As much as he did not like the job, he had decided to put some effort into it, to make it more bearable.

Instead of being appreciated, he met the hostility of his senior colleague instead. Obviously there were some hierarchy issues as this person attacked him verbally, shouting and screaming at him.

He felt totally at a loss. Why was he attacked like that? He immediately took on board the insults and believed what the man was saying to him; that he was not good at the job and he should not be doing what he was not capable of.

He backed down, feeling rejected and hurt. But then anger took over and he reacted, ‘what the heck, I hate this job anyway’ and he quit on the spot.

Of course at the time it never occurred to him that that was his way out of a situation that he would have never have had the courage to move away from.

Not long after that the physical problem appeared.

We had a long chat, and soon it became obvious that he had had self-esteem issues for the whole of his life. Had he had self-confidence, had he been brought up to believe in himself he would have never ended up where he did.

I gave him a mixture of Larch, Mimulus and Walnut; Larch for confidence and self-esteem, Mimulus for known fears and Walnut the link breaker to help him with the transition that he is at in his life right now.

It’s only been three days, and he is already reporting improvement. Ideas come to him more easily, he is capable of seeing his tasks through the day effortlessly and he is clearing his life of clatter. He feels less aggressive and more sympathetic towards others, but the best part is that he can see through people without taking advantage of what he sees.

His skills that have always been well above average are now accepted easily and without arrogance and he gets on with things in a new way.

What is happening is that as he releases the feelings that he is not good enough, he is open and receptive to offers, and opportunities come his way, and he does not shy away from them, because the old reaction of ‘I can’t do this, they won’t like it’ it’s not there any more.

This state of being, feeling inferior, starts very early in life, back in the womb, when the mother passes down to the unborn baby her own feelings of fear and inadequacy. The baby picks those up and when he is born he already has a load of negative expectations about himself that only become stronger as he grows.

Emotions are not something that anyone questioned at any one time. You felt in a certain way and you simply reacted, either by feeling worse or by becoming aggressive. Nobody likes to feel inferior, so chances are that a person works hard to hide the true feelings because they are too unpleasant.

Feelings of low self-esteem are very common, and more often than not we witness in the same person the opposite; arrogance and feeling superior.

Is a person however inferior or superior? No, those are just emotions, they are not who we truly are.

Feeling superior is a way to overcompensate the inferiority feeling, and other times, when a person has been feeling superior, there comes a time that he or she will plummet down to the other end of the spectrum, feeling inadequate and insecure.

The Bach Flowers have been around for a long time, created originally to treat physical symptoms by addressing the emotions behind it. Before Dr E Bach, this concept was totally unknown.

Don’t stop there though; the physical symptoms are the last stage of the body attempting to draw your attention to an imbalanced state of mind.

Treat the emotions before it becomes physical and you will not only stay healthy and strong, but you will enjoy a much better life, as you become the person that you truly are...

http://lucianellahealing.com/consultations/bach-flower-remedies