The Second Edition of My Book

It was two years ago and it did not feel comfortable. I had worked hard, I had done it all myself. I was not too sure about what I was doing, but I did it. A book that was not supposed to be one was born. It was the editing of accumulated pages of journal, full of insights and incredible information. I published the book, I was fairly proud, but I was not too keen to going public. I sold a number of copied, I gave away some, but I did not want to push it,

This was two years ago. In those two years, my mother came to stay with me a couple of times for five/six weeks at a time and she was still pushing my buttons. I guess there will always be buttons that a mother can push. My emotions were still roller coasting from one extreme to another. I did not want to touch the book again. Then two years later, I decided to face the fear of success.

The book needed editing, it needed a make over without taking away any of the precious information. I hired someone to help me. That was last January. A job that was supposed to take three months ended up taking up the whole year. Yes there were a lot of problems and divergences of opinions, but as the months were rolling by it was clear that I was still not comfortable with going public, for fear of being judged, which was manifesting still in my life. I felt judged a lot. So I patiently did more healing and more clearing. The more I cleared my field the stronger and more present in my body I became and other people who were on  my side this time started to appear.

It was a long, stressful and frustrating journey, but it was worth every minute of effort I put into it. Now the second edition is ready and this time I feel very proud of the results. I can't wait to get it out there, to talk about it and to share it with people. Editing the book was like editing my life and those emotional residues that still lingered and it has taken me into a place of sobriety. Yes we have all had a terrible life, a terrible childhood that has caused us to be the way we are, that have influenced our choices of partners, jobs and lifestyle. What I have however learned the most is this: whatever life we have had, whatever the experiences, whatever pain, stress, abuse, whatever has happened to us, we are here to wake up to the greatest truth of existence. Love is all there is. Love is the force of the universe, and what does not resonate with love is a man made existence that comes out of disconnection. 

We are all longing to connect, to be wise, to be knowledgeable, and to have joy in our existence, but because we don't know how to do it, we switch to survival mode and we adopt strategies, that then become us. 

As I went through the book again, a few times, I was truly humbled by what I had learned. I did expose family secrets, and other uncomfortable truths, but I also found a place of understanding and compassion for all that happened. And that was the greatest gift of this book.

It was all together a fifteen year journey. Now I feel that I can finally focus on allowing myself to be who I truly am the joyful, loving, compassionate and fun being that I have always been.

http://lucianellahealing.com/healing-is-a-daily-business 

Something Exciting Before Xmas

At this time of the year, as the sun goes down earlier and earlier, the days are getting shorter and shorter, while Xmas is approaching fast, what excites me the most is the idea of reaching the 21st of December, the Winter Solstice. Once we reach this point in the year, having weaved through summer and growing slightly sombre during the autumn months, suddenly that's it. The shortest day of the year has come, and we can start looking at the new year, the new dawn. From the 21rst or 22nd of December  the cycle of a New Year starts again. In pagan times, this was the real new year to celebrate.

From then on we climb back and I feel life stirring up in me, even if I am fully aware that really we are only at the beginning of winter. Life stirs up inside me, while the inevitable hibernation time of winter catches up and I spend more time indoors, going to bed earlier, staying quiet and connecting to an inner world that gets richer and more magical as I withdraw into a peaceful place that has taken me years to find. It's like the seed in the moist and warm earth, settling in contently, knowing that it can rest waiting for Spring to come.

Then Xmas comes a few days later, with all the fuss and the presents, and the the binges and indulgences with glorious food that I would not normally contemplate eating, and I forget for a few days about the excitement of the days getting longer. I don't have to think about it any more. It's happened. I don't have to look outside my window marvelling at how 'oh my it's only 3.30 pm and it's already dark'. It's all happened, I can relax now, I don't have to count the days any more. The New Year has already started for me and like the seed I settle in myself and spend time planning and resting, looking at not just this year but the years that have disappeared as 2012 approaches even faster now.

I think of the things that I have achieved that seemed unreachable a decade ago, and with greater clarity I spend more time visualizing the world that I want to create. In 2011 the energy is going to accelerate 100,000 fold from last year and things are going to manifest even faster. I smile as I tell myself  "Choose with great care, your words, your thoughts, your feelings and your wishes, if you don't want to create what you don't really want any more".

www.lucianellahealing.com

Fear and Safety

There are some fears that are healthy and some, most, that are not so. 
Fear is an emotion (optional) generated from within in response to events. We generate fear and we absorb it from others. Children absorb their parents fears and apprehension and then they act them out. Our pets absorb and mirror back to us our own emotions.

When fear is healthy, it keeps us safe, when it is constantly produced in response to actions we would like to undertake, it stops us from doing anything with our life. Which in turns creates other emotions, resentment, anger, envy, and so on, which add to the luggage of the emotional field and then we start to get ill.

During the mercury retrograde I noticed how much fear I still had in my body, and that it was not mine. I had agreed to take on my parents’ fears, and their beliefs with regards to life. I remembered how to please my mother I would accept to take the role of the fearful girl, when I had no fears. My heart was full of excitement and enthusiasm, but she was always saying no to anything I wanted to do. She was afraid, I was not, and that was an insult to her. She was the mother, she should know what to expect from the world surely!

I had a lot of work to do, in releasing my needs to still believe that the only safety I had was what was offered, with all the abuse that came with it. Consequently I continued to manifest what I believed to be the only safety I could experience. People who would abuse me, but that would say they loved me…
It took a lot of courage to dig up the memories and ditch them for good.

We clear one program and we need to create another. Can’t help it, we are biological machines that operate on programs. These can be imposed from our parents, teachers, friends, television… or they can be self created…  
How liberating! Once I have undone the old programs, I just reprogram myself and for as long as what I want comes from integrity and awareness, I get just what I ask for. 
Safety is not something that anyone provides for us, safety comes by knowing that we are safe. When we are children we are still reasonably free of conditioning and we are connected to the invisible field of energy. We don’t fear for our safety, until someone starts to tell us, or to download on us their fears for our safety and theirs.


Safety is a state of mind, there is no shortage of safety. We can choose to continue to see the world as unsafe, full of crooks and thieves, and we shall continue to get just that. 
Or we can say that we are safe, because that is what we want and we start to explore experiencing safety in everything we do, wherever we go.

It is a benevolent universe, it is our fear and fearful expectations that create actions that create damaging outcomes.

In my book “Healing Is A Daily Business” I explain this in details.
So I gave up my need to please my mother, by accepting what she was telling me:
‘The world out there is unsafe, the only safe thing is your family.’ But my family was very dysfunctional, my father was very abusive, and my mother was an incredible manipulator, how could it be safe?


Without any recrimination, I let go of the whole need to change anything and with great awareness and love for who I was then and who I am today, I stated that I am the only source of safety, I create safety in my life, by thinking safe, by telling myself over and over that “I love myself” and that I am only available to draw to my life safety, joyful and fun growth, and that everything I want to learn I now learn without fear of upsetting my mother’s beliefs.

http://lucianellahealing.com/healing-is-a-daily-business