Healing is reinterpreting experiences. This means looking at those experiences in life that have left a negative imprint in our memory and understand the real story behind it. You might ask, "What story is behind abuse and pain?" Well I could say that that people who have done the abuse have probably been abused themselves and have been acting out their anger and impotence. This does not justify their actions of course, but it gives another perspective on the story.
Healing is a way to say, "I look at things differently and I am willing to let go of those feelings that keep me trapped in the past, because I want my life back." When we hang on to resentment, anger, self reproach, guilt, when we want to change the past, because we feel hard done by, and humiliated, we cannot fully live in the present and fulfill our talents and skills. Hanging on to the past does not change it, it only perpetuates it.
When we do healing, we don't let anyone off the hook. Whatever anyone does, they will have to face the consequences one day. We heal for ourselves, we let ourselves off the hook, for not having been smart enough to avoid the abuse. What really hurts are the feelings of impotence and rage, feeling helpless against someone who took advantage of a defenseless child.
When we understand that what we create also comes back, we can let ourselves off the hook, from another time. When we understand that we have agreed to participate in the experience of abuse, we can look for the gem. Would you do to another what has been done to you? If the answer is no, then you have passed with flying colors. Be willing to look for the bigger picture and you will be free!
The whole book Healing Is A Daily Business is on healing, and how day in day out you find an answer to your quest!
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